Dialog box for the episode Denny: Lock and Load. *Break* Where is everyone? Paul: It`s an administrative meeting, Denny. Denny: Oh. What am I doing here? * starts walking * Schmidt: Do you remember the good old days when you wanted to know what was going on, when you could go from your office to the elevator without a schedule? Denny, on Schmidt: I once had it with Streisand at the same time. Do you remember that? Schmidt: I do Denny. And not to burst your bubble, but she was a female impersonator. Maybe the penis was your clue. Denny: Wasn`t it Barbara Streisand? __ Denny, about Schmidt: She can still pump my pummel. Schmidt: You are a very good lawyer.

But not good enough. We`ll let you go. __ Nora: Mrs. Schmidt. Schmidt: My mother is Mrs. Schmidt, you can call me Schmidt. Denny: Massachusetts is a blue state. God has no place here. Denny: I`ve been practicing law for 45 years. I have never lost a single case. Client: Never lost? Denny: My record is 6,043 to 0. You hear the guy who died, went to the mother-of-pearl doors, St.

Peter`s let him in, saw a guy in a suit making a closing argument. says: Who is it? Peter said, Oh, it`s God. He thinks of Denny Crane. I`m your boy, Walter. Never lost. Never. Lori: Did she give you a reason? Sally: It`s just that my work didn`t work out. I mean, my reviews were all good. Besides, I don`t think it`s like they gave me much to do. The Witchell case was really the first one they let me go with.

Brad: And. They forgot to invoke negligence. * everyone gives him a disapproving look * Sorry. Nora, who explains Alan`s sexual harassment: Well. He compliments my character every day. And he just does it lasciviously. He also arranges my sweaters. Schmidt: He classifies your sweaters? Nora: Yes. In which he thinks I look the best.

It`s a three. He asked if he could take one home for the weekend. He told me he dreamed of me. Schmidt: What kind of dreams? Nora: All kinds. Once he dreamed that I was just a head. No body, just a head. Wherever he went, he carried me, wrapped in a silencer, to keep him company. And from time to time, I whispered horrible and dirty things in his ear. It`s a bit like harassment. Schmidt: You mean? Tara, watching with satisfaction the news of the death of another pan, is suddenly pushed back when Alan appears* Alan: It`s Bernie – that customer who swings last week. Tara: Does that mean we`re done? Bernie: She knew.

She heard an argument between my mother and me. She was there watering her stupid plants – in winter, for God`s sake. The woman is not right. *hesitates* Or was not right. Alan – she said she would call the police. She said what she heard was not hearsay. She said she did some research. She said that because we were arguing, it would be considered bloody excitement. Alan: Blood terance isn`t even a real world, it`s a defense. You murdered someone for the wrong word! Bernie: You said you helped the little man.

I`m small! * When Alan refuses to help Bernie because he was «terribly disappointed»* __ Alan: Shirley? What about senior associates? There would be nothing wrong with what I desire for you, shall we say, right? Schmidt: Subscribe to National Geographic. Make a list of places you`ll never visit. Add to that list, Smith. __ Schmidt: I really believe in evolution. Those of us here who listen to presidential debates might deny that we are all descended from monkeys. __ Alan: What are you doing here? Catherine Piper: Of course, I`m applying for the position of secretary. I heard what happened to the last one, and I have to say that your problem – most people can`t see that under your smooth and delicate exterior, deep inside you, you really are a shower bag. I understand that, Alan. You would not have a misunderstanding with me. __ Brad: When are you leaving? Sally: Is there a big rush? Brad: That`s not what I meant.

Sally: I`m leaving now. Tonight. Brad: You know, no matter what it`s worth, Shirley can be very draconian, and if she chooses, it`s not. Sally: I have nothing against Shirley. In fact, she didn`t even really hurt me. Shirley doesn`t know me. Oh, really. Lori does.

Alan does. Many people, none of whom had anything against Shirley. The silent majority spoke, Brad, with a resounding roar. Every shot is a nudge. I`m going to hold on to that and a few other shots for a while, and then you`ll see me all again. In court, on the other side of the witness table, you will all see me again. It is a promise. Alain: I hate this job. * reflect on her disappointment at Bernie and Nora`s reaction to her sexual harassment * __ Lori: What are you doing here? Schmidt: If you just look at the city. Still trying to figure this out – Lori: – The Red Sox won? Did you know? The 62nd annual Golden Globe Awards aired on Sunday, January 16, 2005 at the same time as Boston Legal. James Spader and William Shatner were both nominated – and Shatner won for «Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role».